The Long of the Short of it

There are many ways to ruin a movie. Throw in a pointless romance for example or give it a Hollywood ending. Or cast Keanu Reeves in a lead role (to totally destroy it you could cast him opposite Sandra Bullock in a romantic comedy with a Hollywood ending).

But of all the things that peeve me about modern film making, nothing gets my goat more than over selling a film with shorts that are too long, that not only give away the plot but also give away the best lines, and in the worst case give away the ending (OK – so maybe the worst case would be Keanu Reeves doing the voice over but fortunately even Hollywood won’t go that far).

I recently had the misfortune to view Thank You For Smoking. It’s an amusing film with an interesting spin on modern-day marketing of all those things that are bad for you – smoking, alcohol, fire arms and Keanu Reeves (I should move on I know but we go way back – as far as Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Keanu was great in that but his acting just hasn’t progressed, let alone his hairstyle).

Thank You For Smoking has been promoted ad nauseum for months in cinemas with natty shorts combining a bit of narration, some clever graphics and some really funny lines. How do I know this? Because I see too many movies.

It is the curse of the movaholic to watch many more movie shorts than movies (the other curse is that there is nothing worth seeing at the DVD shop that you haven’t already seen). Really clever shorts are teasers, much as a bit of lace or some cleavage can inspire, titillate, torment and trigger the imagination. The shorts for Thank You For Smoking were the equivalent of full frontal nudity. Sure you liked it, don’t get me wrong, the job is almost done for us (that’s a line in the shorts by the way and a good one at that – I know them off by heart and that’s the problem).

I sat watching Thank You For Smoking almost waiting for all the lines to come. And of course, come they did. Those more fortunate than me to treat themselves to only the occasional film laughed generously and genuinely, I giggled at best. There were other lines too that were good and also some clever sight gags – Rob Lowe seemed to get all the best ones, but overall my lack of surprise turned what could have been a 4½ star highlight of the year into a 3 star take it or leave it.

So if you want an interesting study into modern movie shorts, get down to your local cinema, see anything you like but get there early and compare the shorts for M. Night Shyamalan’s Lady In the Water to The Devil Wears Prada starring Meryl Streep.

M’s films are all about seeing dead people or dead-like people and Lady In the Water is no exception. I don’t want to ruin the film by giving away the rest of the plot and the ending. You’ll have to see the shorts for that.

The Devil Wears Prada by comparison is one scene from the film. It’s clever, amusing and gives an insight into the characters. And then it stops. Best of all, Keanu Reeves is nowhere to be seen so I can’t wait to see it.