Application - Coach of the Pakistan Cricket Team

Dear Sir/Madam/General,

I would like to apply for the recently vacated position of Coach of the Pakistan Cricket Team.

I am highly familiar with the Pakistan Cricket team, and have taken a keen and profitable interest in their performances over the last few years. Indeed I have an ongoing relationship with a number of the players through an intermediary.

I am a great believer in backing talent, and feel that as coach of the Pakistan Cricket Team I would be outstanding in providing tips. I have never been afraid to gamble on any player in which I have recognised a willingness to play the game. Working closely with my captain, I am confident that we can get the best out of the team, when required.

I am well connected within the cricketing community and have had a number of highly successful dealings, in particular with members of the South African and Indian teams, in the past. I was very close to the late Hansie Cronje, we conducted a number of business projects together throughout his cricketing career, and indeed I was one of the last people to see him. I was due to travel with him on the fateful day, but still feel pleased that he permitted me to inspect his plane prior to its departure.

I was also a close business colleague of Mr Bob Woolmer, sharing a drink with him only hours before his death.

My philosophy of cricket coaching is centred around strict discipline. I make every player aware that the team is more important than the individual, and that there are penalties for not following instructions. The rewards will come from understanding that ultimately cricket is just a game, a small part of life, and that one’s actions have repercussions that go beyond what happens on the field and in the change room. In the greater scheme of things something as inconsequential as a result is no more important than the condition of the pitch, the weather or who bowls the twelfth over for example.

Please find attached my references from Mr S Warne, Mr M Waugh and Mr John. Each attests to my reliability in adhering to a contract and my trustworthiness in regards to discussions of important information. I am confident that if you were to appoint me to the position of coach of the Pakistan Cricket Team that I will capitalise on on-going Pakistan Cricket Board initiatives to the benefit of all parties.

Please note too that in the event that I am not appointed to the position that I may seek other avenues to obtain the position.

I trust that your heart condition will prove to be less serious than I understand and that your children continue to get to school safely.

Yours sincerely,

[name withheld pending legal discussions]