Friday, October 27, 2006

Advanced Bachelor Food Part 1 - Chilli

I am told that I have a signature dish. This is quite an achievement for someone who once didn't know which end of a knife to hold (OK, so I was only one-and-a-half but I learnt quickly - and the hard way). I was brought up with no cooking experience whatsoever. My culinary experience as a child was mostly meat and three veg cooked by my mother. In the best of Aussie tradition the veg were often overcooked or included dry and lumpy mashed potatoe (it was years after leaving home before I could bring myself to eat it again). My father cooked the barbies, still does.

So there's a lot to be said for spending at least a decade of your life in shared accommodation. What began as toasted sandwiches and pasta sauce in jars has developed into gourmet pizzas and spaghetti bolognese made from scrach (more-or-less). My greatest discovery was that bolognese sauce is the base for all manner of Italian and Mexican dishes, and if you stretch the analogy far enough, all sorts of curries too (and probably stews but I haven't got that far - yet).

But there is still the spirit of the bachelor (or the backpacker for that matter) in my cooking - use a minimum of utensils, avoid recipes and go with your gut instinct. What 's changed since those carefree days? Time and quality. The longer a sauce bubbles, the better it is. And buy the most expensive ingredients you can find.

So here we go - my contribution to the culinary world - my recipe (or lack thereof) for Chilli...

Ingredients:
2 cold beers
A bottle of wine
1 tin of chopped tomatoes (the expensive italian type)
1 tin of kidney beans
2 average sized red capsicums cut into smallish pieces
1 onion chopped into even smaller pieces
some garlic cloves (your call - how much do you like garlic?) crushed
1/2 a kilo of the best quality mince you can find
3 small hot chillis cut into tiny pieces OR a few scoops of hot chilli sauce (sambal is ideal) OR chilli flakes
small carton of sour cream
salt
pepper
Tabasco sauce
white rice
enchilada tortillas

And if you want to take a short cut...
1 jar of hot taco sauce

What to do with this stuff:
Open the first cold beer. Have a couple of gulps. Whack the onion in the biggest saucepan you have with some oil. Stir until it goes soft and a bit brownish. Add the capsicum and the chillis and keep stirring for a couple of minutes then add the garlic and stir some more. Rinse the tin of red kidney beans in cold water and throw them in. Keep stirring.

Have a couple more gulps of beer.

I hope you have strong wrists because now you're going to add the mince. Stir and fold and stir until the mince browns and the whole lot starts smelling yummy. Add the tin of tomatoes and all your spices (how much is up to you) - your chilli pastes, powders, sauces or flakes - and a splash or two of water (enough to wash out the tins is probably plenty). Don't forget the tabasco - add plenty. Salt and pepper to taste.

Drink some more beer. This is hot work and you don't want to dehydrate.

Keep stirring (what do you mean you stopped - don't) until it's all mixed up and it starts to bubble. Turn down the heat and let it bubble away for at least 1/2 an hour but preferably 45 minutes to an hour tops. Finish your beer and crack open the second one. Drink it while you wait but stir the chilli every 10 minutes or so. If you have an electric stove make it every 5 minutes - don't let it burn whatever you do - add more water if you have to but avoid this if you can.

Now the hard part - in an ideal world you would have done all of the above the day before or at least a few hours before you wanted to eat it - the longer it sits in the saucepan the better. But realistically you came home from work and it's already 8:00 and you're starving - so it's time to serve up.

Put the rice on 20 mins before you're ready to eat.

Serving suggestion:

Eat the chilli with a lover - use your imagination for what to do while the chilli cooks (but don't forget to stir - the chilli that is).

Open the bottle of wine and pour two or more glasses.

Warm the tortillas (microwave is fine) and serve on a plate. Warm, reheat or just put the saucepan in the middle of the table with a ladel, ditto the rice. Put the sour cream out too. Eat it however you like - I prefer to whack the lot in a tortilla - it's messy but so what - you cooked it - your lover/partner/dinner guests can clean up. Take large sips of wine between bites.

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